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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!

in my personal journal my weight is mentioned pretty often. i try not to talk about in on here because it would drive you guys completely insane after a while. so i will do this entry and try to not mention it very often other wise. so hold on its kind of a bumpy ride. the way i look right now drive me crazy. i don't mind being a large person. partly because I'm good at it. i think the reason for that is that i was ALWAYS the smallest boy in my classes at school. i was a complete dork. i know I'm still a dork but I'm a different kind of dork now. but anyway, i was always small. i got picked on. that is one big reason i started doing Tae Kwon Do(martial arts). i worked hard and got pretty good. i was good enough that i placed in the top 4 eight different times at state level competition and went on and competed at the national level 6 times. the only reason i tell you this for a conversation about weight is that i was an athlete. a pretty high level athlete. and now, well i still a pretty good athlete but i can not do what i want because I'm big and fat. you also have to remember i graduated high school weighing 148 pounds. when i got married i was 168. today i sit before you at 245. renae and other people (mainly renae)have tried to assure me that i don't look like what most almost 6 foot 245 pounders. Very kind of you to say so, but i have a mirror. i can see the stretch marks on my round belly. i see all the fat pictures of my self. here is where we get to the dumbness. two years ago i got in ok shape(yes i know round is a perfectly good shape)and went and did the wood river triathlon. my wonderful brother john had not perfectly honest with me about how hard he was working out, and he beat me quite badly. so i had done a fair amount of work, lost some weight. but then i just stopped and gained it all back(plus some). so last year, i decided i was done with not being in good shape. i worked like a dog last year. i started the year at 253 pound and got down to 219. still a large person but in good shape. i had taken my turn at not telling john how hard i was working and crushed any time i had ever come close too, taking 2nd in my age bracket. not an easy feat for a big guy. i was very proud of what i had done(but pride goeth before the fall). then i just stopped. i put most of my weight back on, and have had to start from scratch working out. i ran a mile and a half last night(not very far for people who run) and it hurt. and the whole time i just kept telling my self, DUMB DUMB DUMB! i will brag a bit at this point. i could be very fast. i think if i continued to work at it i think i could be, well lets just say very fast. i am fast, for my size, but i want to take the qualification off, and never be fat again. to do all the work i have done and to let it go away is just stupid. sorry for running(no pun intended) on like this but it bugs me. i want john(the only other big guy i know that can keep up with me) to move back and live close to me so we can be work out partners. we would crush all comers, except each other(i think). so i would like to be done with this rediculus weight roller coaster. i need to get off and keep my self off.













John and me at twenty years old and 165 lbs
















33, 253; don't miss the man in the mirror

14 comments:

Shamill said...

OK... you big and fat guy!!! I'm not John, but I did say that I would do the tri with you. We need to figure out how we are going to get together and train. I hate the mirror myself. What I hate even more is my kids using cell phone video. They have a nack for shooting video of me from behind. YIKES!!! Annette loved my little butt before we got married. Not so much now... I used to be 6'2" and 185. Now I'm a little over 6' and bounce between 245 & 250. Last week I finally got down to 244. I've got a long way to go because I have never really worked out in my life. My body absolutely revolts against me every time I start.

Renae said...

You aren't nearly as fat as you think you are!! Besides, I like a good size man.

Bruce said...

T.M.I. renae T.M.I.

Bruce said...

shaun sead he bounced, he he he

Renae said...

Yes, Bruce, you are "Dumb, Dumb, Dumb!"

Anonymous said...

Skim Milk

lizS said...

when we move home, perhaps we can all go on diets together, and work out together. i want in too! i know i can't keep up with you guys, but i need someone to help keep me in line too! anyway, see you guys this weekend!

Bruce said...

you could keep up liz, you just don't know it yet. getting started is the hardest part. once you get used to it youll wander why you didnt start earlier.

timpani76 said...

Ok, look at your 20 year old picture and realize you were and John were still BOYS (and pretty boys at that) ;)

You are now a MAN, so keep that in mind so we don't have to do an anorexia intervention. You know, like they had to with me (in my dreams)

Anonymous said...

20 years ago I was 14.
We were what 20 ish when we took that bike trip? Maybe 21? Was that picture pre of post Mullet? Im thinking it is post mullet, cause when we met moose was during the mullet. yeah. So I'd have been 21.

Anonymous said...

You look a lot like Shawn. I will just leave it at that.

Annette

Bruce said...

that was a pic from last year. i am about 10 pounds lighter than that not but still to fat.

timpani76 said...

John, I wasn't saying the picture was 20 years old, I was saying you were 20 years old in the first picture.
20 year old males are still boys!

lid said...

I look at the top then the bodum and say...




AAAAAAAAAAAAAA