yes you can.

now i just got done complaining about being fat, so now i will talk about doing something about it. the wood river triathlon is a great event. you can do it. it consists of a 1/4 mile swim(in a pool, you can put your feet down and not drown), followed by a 12 mile bike ride(flat course so not to hard)followed by a 4 mile run(same course as the bike). Most people who don't do any thing like this are worried about the run. just start small and work your way up. i just started running again and i started with a mile and a half. that is farther than i would start some one new at. at first just try to jog for 3-5 minutes without stopping, then walk at a brisk pace for a while after that. ride about 5 miles the first couple times out and start working your way up to about 12-15 miles. really not hard if you pace your self. don't worry how fast you are. speed will come in time. your just need to sign up. pay the money($40), and your committed. the reason that is important is that now you have a specific goal to achieve by a specific time. goals are very important. even if your not even close to being able to doing it now, if your start now and keep working you will be able to do it. it's not easy but you have no one to beat but your self(they stagger the start, no one knows what your time is until the race is over). there is a strong sense of achievement when you finish. don't think you can't. you can. i will help you. i actually know how to get in shape(yes i still know round is a shape), and prepare for a race. i'm no professional, but have asked a lot of question a figured some thing out over the years. what you will find, i think, is that once you grow accustomed to exercising, you will miss it when you don't and wander why you didn't start sooner.

Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!

in my personal journal my weight is mentioned pretty often. i try not to talk about in on here because it would drive you guys completely insane after a while. so i will do this entry and try to not mention it very often other wise. so hold on its kind of a bumpy ride. the way i look right now drive me crazy. i don't mind being a large person. partly because I'm good at it. i think the reason for that is that i was ALWAYS the smallest boy in my classes at school. i was a complete dork. i know I'm still a dork but I'm a different kind of dork now. but anyway, i was always small. i got picked on. that is one big reason i started doing Tae Kwon Do(martial arts). i worked hard and got pretty good. i was good enough that i placed in the top 4 eight different times at state level competition and went on and competed at the national level 6 times. the only reason i tell you this for a conversation about weight is that i was an athlete. a pretty high level athlete. and now, well i still a pretty good athlete but i can not do what i want because I'm big and fat. you also have to remember i graduated high school weighing 148 pounds. when i got married i was 168. today i sit before you at 245. renae and other people (mainly renae)have tried to assure me that i don't look like what most almost 6 foot 245 pounders. Very kind of you to say so, but i have a mirror. i can see the stretch marks on my round belly. i see all the fat pictures of my self. here is where we get to the dumbness. two years ago i got in ok shape(yes i know round is a perfectly good shape)and went and did the wood river triathlon. my wonderful brother john had not perfectly honest with me about how hard he was working out, and he beat me quite badly. so i had done a fair amount of work, lost some weight. but then i just stopped and gained it all back(plus some). so last year, i decided i was done with not being in good shape. i worked like a dog last year. i started the year at 253 pound and got down to 219. still a large person but in good shape. i had taken my turn at not telling john how hard i was working and crushed any time i had ever come close too, taking 2nd in my age bracket. not an easy feat for a big guy. i was very proud of what i had done(but pride goeth before the fall). then i just stopped. i put most of my weight back on, and have had to start from scratch working out. i ran a mile and a half last night(not very far for people who run) and it hurt. and the whole time i just kept telling my self, DUMB DUMB DUMB! i will brag a bit at this point. i could be very fast. i think if i continued to work at it i think i could be, well lets just say very fast. i am fast, for my size, but i want to take the qualification off, and never be fat again. to do all the work i have done and to let it go away is just stupid. sorry for running(no pun intended) on like this but it bugs me. i want john(the only other big guy i know that can keep up with me) to move back and live close to me so we can be work out partners. we would crush all comers, except each other(i think). so i would like to be done with this rediculus weight roller coaster. i need to get off and keep my self off.













John and me at twenty years old and 165 lbs
















33, 253; don't miss the man in the mirror

almost like i remember

i went to a karate tournament this past weekend. haven't been to one in over 13 years. it was allot of fun. i did not compete but i did get an opportunity to judge. that is where some of the fun happened. First off they did forms or Kata(a pattern of movements kind of like a dace). after relearning the judging process that was kind of neat. i did find it humerus though when one of the kids dads came question the scores and where his son was placed. as 4th through 7th place all had the same score we had to use a tie break system. the score keepers had got it wrong, his son was 6th not 7th. we corrected the error and he still didn't get a trophy. then during fighting, a instructor that was standing behind me(i was a corner judge) got mad when i did not give a point to his student(an advanced rank student). the kid had pretty much inadvertently hit the other in the head. he asked me in a huffy tone "You know you saw his hand make contact, why didn't you give him the point?" at which point i turned around and said "if you can name the technique he used i will gladly give him the point." he stomped off and looked quite disgruntled. not exactly the reaction i was expecting. but i had forgotten that i have changed in the years sense i had been to a tournament. i am no longer a skinny teen aged black belt. the last time i went to a tournament i would have been about 18 or 19 and would have weighed about 165 pounds. now I'm 34 and go about 245. i guess I'm a bit more imposing a figure than i used to be. i would like to compete again soon, but i am going to need to find some decent sparing partners. don't want to get my face caved in.

step 1

yesterday, ross got baptized. it was a wonderful experience. i could tell from the time we left for church he was jazzed up. when church was over and i found him and we went and changed into jumpsuits. on our way back i had renae take a pic of us. when it was just him and me he said with the thrill that only children seem to be able to produce, "Dad, I'm so excited. i can't believe I'm finally getting baptized." it was great. it was a strong spirit filled meeting for me and I'm sure most every one felt it to. My parents came. for those of you that don't know, my parents do not belong to the same church i do, and are not fond of the idea that i am. i truly have great parents. they support there family as much as they can and they knew ross wanted them there. i got to give ross a blessing too. once again, very cool. ross has so much potential and i hope this experience will help him unlock the courage inside him self to go and do what he is capable of. a funny thing though. ross was welcomed into the primary by the primary president. she gave him a small pin that had a sword and shield on it. when she was done telling ross that it represented the whole armor of Christ she sat down, at which point ross turned to the crowed and said, "look every body, now i can go battle and kill a tiny mouse!" that's my ross for ya. great experience. i recommend it to every one.

he said what?

are you guys aware of the little game renae and john play with each other? they will pick a lyric from a song and see if the other can figure it out. more often than not i think they cheat and use one of the lyric web sites that are out there. so renae left one to day for john and, when she looked it up to make sure she had the wording exactly right we could not find the song we looking for because we thought they(the band in question) where singing completely different words. kind of funny. i know i have had it happen to me before. singing along and some one who knows the correct wording laughing at me and then corrects me. (i do this with movie quotes all the time to.) i remember renae thinking def leopard was saying "get your ROCK SALT, get your ROCK SALT Honey." of course it was actually ROCKS OFF, not ROCK SALT. i wander how many songs we have the words completely screwed up. on another note. i felt much better today. my back that is. my chiropractor told me i had sprained my lower back. although i had some very ouchy moments, most of the day was relatively pain free. i was in such a good mood i was even walking around singing(probably the wrong words). that is one nice thing about working in a factory that is very loud. i can sing all i want and no one can hear me. i just look like an idiot though I'm sure.

V is for _____________?

Thursday April 3rd.

Ain't this just grand.

so here i am in my office. it's 6:10 p.m. I'm blogging and getting paid overtime to do it. why you ask? well i was going to leave at the normal time(around 4:00 to 4:30ish), got into my truck and started to drive away. i then said to my self, self your truck doesn't feel rite. it must be because your driving through 8 inches of snow, but then i got to a plowed section and thought, now must be the new pot holes that have opened up recently. but then i got to a smooth section of pavement and realized some thing is wrong. stooped, got out looked and saw that my back tire was flat. was not happy about that. but then i closed my door and could now see that my front tire is flat also(may have said a swear word at this point). called my boss to let him know what is going on. then called the maintenance company our company uses and am now waiting for a tow truck to arrive. so I'm missing the snow ball fight going on at my house that my wife called me to tell me about, but at least I'm being paid to do it.

thanks now i realy feel like crap.

i know many of you don't work outside the home. being a stay at home wife/mom is a very tough job that i do not want and only occasionally think i could actually do well. some others of you have crappy bosses you have to deal with. been there done that. well my current boss is not so bad, we even do thing away from work together on occasion. but to day i got my annual review. i don't know how many of you have been through one of these. not really a whole lot of fun. while this years went pretty well, i still get perturbed by some of the results i get. for example,(this one ticks me off every year) dependability. the comment that i got in writing from my boss said this,"Bruce, you have been one of the most dependable employees in the our office over the past year. i do not recall of one instance when protocol was not followed when calling off for a sick day or asking for a vacation/personal day." that sounds great right. well to toot my own horn here just a little. not once in the years i have worked for my current employer have i taken all the time off i have had coming to me, not once. in fact i have banked(did not use and can now only be used for extended leave) no less than 13 sick days in 4 years. on a scale of 1(worst) to 5(best) i got a 4. now i know a 4 is pretty good, but when i asked what i would have to do to get a 5, they asked me "can you walk on water?" just kind of irksome. i was even given a lesser score for not achieving my goals set for me last year because i did not go to corporate headquarters and go to training. take a wild guess who sets the training schedule and sends you to headquarters. this all would not really be that big of a deal except that my raise is based on that average score of my review. i will say at this point that my wife is doing a great job and should keep up the good work. there is no fair way to score what a wife/mother does every day. wow that was a longer post than i meant it to be. i guess it does get under my skin a little.