CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES »

Monday, April 14, 2008

i don't know why, i just do

it all started the other day. i had gotten out of my truck and went into a store. after making the rounds and purchasing some things i left said establishment. probably in there about 45 minuets. when i opened the door of my truck to leave, i smelled farts. weird hu. at first i could not believe the boldness of the stranger who took it on their self to get in and leave a fart in my truck, but then i realized that it was my own fart i was smelling. i had passed the a fore mentioned gas shortly after leaving my home. it didn't seem so bad at the time, but it must have been trapped under me in the cushion of my seat and it stayed in there the whole time i was in the store. i would like to say that this is the first time this has happened to me but it was not. i had fun with one the other day at a store. i saw a man alone i a isle. i knew his wife would be joining him soon so i made as if to shop near him. when she turned the corner of the isle we where in i let fly and then meandered a way. i then herd them blaming each other for who had made the atrocious aroma. at one point i herd her say "you know that had to be you, it doesn't even smell like a girl fart." so now i have a whole new set of questions. i mean i know and have known for many many years that girls fart but, is there a difference in a boy fart and a girl fart? i think i should send this question into myth busters. or maybe some of you could enlighten me and the rest of us on this topic.

21 comments:

Renae said...

The difference between boy farts and girl farts is that a girl will never do it in front of a person on purpose. It happenes, but sometimes you just can't help it. Boys on the other hand like to torture people with it, as you have just demonstrated.

Bruce said...

does the "mommy tooted" story ring a bell to anny one?

timpani76 said...

Girl farts seriously do not smell as bad, and they dissipate much quicker. Boy farts stay around forever and practically choke you to death before they go away. My older sister's farts usually do not smell AT ALL. It's a special gift.

On a side note, men seem to be able to have the Silent farts much more easily. Just going by the three or four men I know who have farted in front of me, and I did not know until the smell knocked me to the ground.

lizS said...

why is anybody even favoring this post with comments? i mean really, people, ew.

timpani76 said...

Liz,
You'll talk about sex until everyone is blushing, but you won't talk about passing a little wind?

Anonymous said...

sex is not gross. toots are.
-liz

Bruce said...

farts are one of the few things you can share from inside.

Bruce said...

and liz, when its yours self haveing sex its not gross. thinking about someone else is. do you realy want me to be graffic about what goes on at my house? i doubt it.

lizS said...

sex is only gross when you're involved bruce. renae will probably not agree with me, but the rest of the world does.

Renae said...

SSSSSSHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Renae said...

I swear, you guys are morons! I don't know how I stand either one of you.

Renae said...

Just because the two of you married Severs (who, as everyone knows, are the world's most good looking / intelligent race), people don't want to hear you bragging about it. It's just too bad that the next generation's batch will probably at least be down a notch or two in the intelligence factor, due to the muddying up of the gene line. ;)

lizS said...

ouch!! and may i remind you that it was a PUCKETT who started it?

timpani76 said...

Well, Puckett transplant. Treat by birth (and technically I still have the Treat part attached to my name).

Yes, I am now the amalgamated Treat-Puckett of yore.

Bruce said...

I thought we were talking about farting anyway

Eyepoke said...

As utterly lame as this conversation is, I find myself weighing in anyway. Bruce, why dont you write a post about farting during sex? And the eyiquette involved. For instance, should you say excuse me? I feel confident that with effort you could discover even deeper levels of inanity in which to sink.

lizS said...

oh ho! now a SEVER has said the S word! no more complaining about the transplants renae! it's in your genes too!

Bruce said...

i will stay out of that john. i thought i was going to write this funny little post about how my truck smelled like farts the other day and now we have some how gotten to somthing that belongs on web sights that sould not exist. way to go liz(accually it was timp talking about liz). you all should be ashamed of your self. i think ill go wash my eyes out with soap now.

lizS said...

i'm all for bruce putting soap in his eyes. yesseribob.

Bruce said...

oh liz we all know your really want me. your only kidding yourself. i think it was shakespeare who said in King henry the VIII "me thinks thou does protest too much." dont worry though im used to women wanting me, and john and i have talked, and he is O.K. with it.

Anonymous said...

Ya know... I started reading Bruce's post and just started chuckling. Then I started reading the rest of the the posts and nearly wet myself!!!

My explanation on boy vs. girl farts... For most of the couples I know, the guys have the worst diets. We'll eat any kind of junk that we can get our hands on. The women folk, not so. Most of the women that I know tone it down a hair when it comes to downin the junk food. Not to say that they don't eat it, just not quite as much of it.

As far as quailty of stence and the hang time... I know some fems that can clear the room with the best of us. A certain, rather tall, female that I grew up with throws rotten egg bombs. Not so nice.

And now, for the rest of the story!!!
As far as the 'S' word... I think that we are all grown-ups here. Ok, maybe not Bruce, but passing a little wind during... NOT A GOOD THING!!! I know that I would be shot...